A Ghost Story

I saw you the other night. You stood in front of me as if you'd never left. Blonde hair and grey eyes, it was you. So I said 'hi', I let you take my hand and dance with me. I closed my eyes and tried to savour the moment. But it wasn't you, just a ghost.

Remember that first year we gave each other? All the silent promises and secret vows best friends make? Remember how dependent we were on each other? How much it offended just about everyone, because our bond "just wasn't healthy". But we didn't care, together we were bulletproof. They whispered, they gossiped, they said we were in love.

They couldn't have been more wrong.

I was never in love with you, I just loved you. I felt for you complete and utter unconditional love. There was something different about you. You weren't the least bit intimidated by me nor interested in pursuing anything beyond friendship. Two things that made me feel uncommonly comfortable in your presence. I treasured our time together. Every memory catalogued in my mind to be brought up on days when you were far away and I was even further.

Do you remember running through the pouring rain with no destination in mind, just the desire to get out?

I remember looking back at you as I ran, we were both laughing, I'd never seen you look so happy. We sheltered in an alcove, you pulled me close to you to stop my shivering. I could hear your heart hammering against mine. While I was still giggling between breaths, I decided that you and I should never part.

But we did.

You had your problems and I had mine. We'd bled our poisons into each other until we were both too sick to save ourselves much less each other. I drew away, if I could heal myself I'd come back for you. You resented the decision and pushed me away accordingly. It broke my heart. I'd never let anyone in as close as I did you. I don't think I ever will. You were more myself than I could bear, if I lost you I'd lose a part of my being. Even now your absence produces a physical ache.

So as I danced I let the memories of our past wash over me. Reunited for a single night, beyond time and space. I lost myself in thoughts of all that we were, and all that we could have been. I listened for the heartbeat I'd known so well but it never came. I saw you before me, demons exorcised and the faintest smile playing at the edge of your lips. You knew something I didn't. Still it wasn't you and yet I was happy to pretend.

Tragic, don't you think?

Love stories are for lovers and we were only ever, just friends.